THE BLAME DISPLACEMENT CYCLE

 

Progress, evolution, revisionism, revolution, renaissance... Growth piercing absorbing and reflecting... condensing entropy collapsing the inferior past... A crack of creative potential across the Chaos Membrane-the semiconductor of reality-, drops of novelty dripping from the crack into a pond of what can be...waves resonating dissipating into what is-memory. Drip...the pond is full. Drip... a displacement.

Nature grows by displacing memory and past with novelty and future. We, as stiff mirror resistors are always the last to succumb to this, our nature. Consequently we lag behind progress. This lag time allows for the capacity for blame or victim consciousness. A cycle is born as the blame also gets displaced... the human mind-the creations of that mind-nature...around and around.

The entity/creation that bears the blame most frequently in the cycle has to be television. People can’t seem to differentiate it as the cause or the effect. It is just that ingrained in society, we are so aware of it we don’t even realize it. This is why it is such an ideal scapegoat. Without human minds to project (passively at that) on to/through it, it is little more than a glowing noisebox.

TV is the exact opposite of psychedelics. Psychedelics provide a secondary window for the soul, its gnosis shines through to us from the inside.

TV is a secondary mirror for the ego which reflects dogma to us from the outside. Ego and soul are references for each other. TV and psychedelics are references for the references hence “secondary”. TV effects the societal mass while psychedelics have been reserved for an esoteric few, relatively speaking. This results in a severe monopoly in “mind credits” for the national consciousness account. You sit there and a subtle, passive masturbation of ego is taking place. Somebody finds these two dozen talk shows, these tabloid shows, these trendy disaster/alien movies, these made for TV "Moment of truth" movies, these “gridiron warriors”, these shit-coms etc.,... entertaining; all those whose names are not written in the book of life. All this formulated, cheesecore, pathetic fluff is not newsworthy or entertaining, its a sick form of narcissism. To be absorbed with such garbage is fucking sad. Its like, “ Yeah, cops, drugs, rape, scandal, criminals, victims, revenge,...I FUCKING GET IT ALREADY!” Its like, “OK, people die, I KNOW that, Nicole Simpson has kicked the monkey and she’s looking down on us laughing at our ignorance and making friends with JonBenet. In the big picture of the universe how is that more or less significant than a little puppy who freezes to death on a porch somewhere in North Dakota?” It ain’t. On TV it sure as hell is. Let me expand on that idea of double standards in a little less ridiculous way. You see a bunch of Romanian orphans rocking themselves or banging there heads like neglected caged animals and you feel compelled to intervene and save them. You see thousands of Ethiopian children bloated with flies lapping up their eyesnot and you decide they are beyond help. In reality they are equally screwed but TV has presented their crisis in completely different ways.

"Pulled from today's most gripping headlines...” The writers in Hollywood have a grab bag of cloner plots and another grab bag of synonymous words for titles...they are lazy. They just watch the news, get some primetime face, slap ‘em together and call it a movie. America is so used to this it actually works in reverse. How many of us can get any tangible sense of the existence of the federal government without TV? Its just characters and a kinda “fuck it up as they go along” plot huh?

In this sense they (The Con) censor objective reality and subject us to victim consciousness. They make us enjoy the very same things we feel are beyond our control. Hollywood and the media reach through the Beast out of the Sea to distract you while Washington holds their legs. They sneak into your mind and put a black dot in front of your soul. You are now indifferent, ignorant and you are willingly buying K-Y lube for their money machine, and you do know what K-Y is used for right? They are false prophets telling you to burn petroleum and munch prozac. They advertise blasphemous kingdoms so that you may purchase a share of their sin. Consumerism IS idolatry. They chant, “Long live the almighty dollar!”, and they pray enlightenment slips between the cushions of your sofa.

So the establishment does its banking in mindcredits which keeps your money flowing towards it, if not directly, then through your ignorance and apathy. Did you ever notice how America is the largest producer of useless, complicated, distracting, pessimistic, stressful, paranoid, hyper-sensitive, over-reactive, fearful, untrusting, patriopsychotic, dominator, anarchomaterialistic, power abusive, victimizing, demonizing, ego-based misery in the whole world? I wonder why? Is it coincidental that we churn out the most irritainment also? Do you ever sit there with a friend or family member and the plotline mirrors some uncomfortable situation between you and them and no body moves or talks cuz that’s admitting you’re uncomfortable? I hate that, that's why I watch TDC, TLC, and Sci-Fi. Do you remember when people started bitching about family values a couple of years ago? Y’ever notice how much more common ASS, BITCH-n-BASTARD etc..became on primetime? Now in 1997 everything is getting exponential on TV. The sensationalism, frequency of “scandals”, need for drama and our short attention spans all seem to be saying something. As tolerance increases so must shock value, we’re aren’t being desensitized into thinking its OK we’re being desensitized, period.

While all you technozombified ego whores are letting Babylon stroke you off while you suckle the cathode ray tit, and you’re all believing there actually is death, racism and dysfunction, while America is being defined by pixels and soundwaves, while you blame the mirror for your blemishes and scars, while you’re bitching and moaning about commercials...I read books, I observe and admire plants and animals, I dream. TURN IT OFF! Take the kids to the library even if they kick and scream, call up your friend with the Glock and use it for target practice. I’m kidding, TV the tool is awesome, TV the manipulator isn’t.

I called TV “The Beast out of the Sea”. I mentioned earlier that there is no “false prophet” or “antichrist”, rather that they are ideas not individual humans. Like when we say the “miniskirt” is in fashion. We aren’t talking about one skirt, we’re talking about the idea.

For this reason I don’t believe we’re talking about a human, or beast for that matter. In Revelation 9 the locusts and horses aren’t locusts and horses, they are helicopters, airplanes, tanks, cars etc.,... So its not beyond the realm of possibility that I’m right. Keep in mind Johns very limited lexicon.

So if I am right, explanations are in order. Now Hal Lindsey, in his books, had explanations for crowns, horns and heads but they were based on old definitions of their symbolic meanings. John is describing things 2000 years into the future, that leaves alot of room for discrepancy don’t you think? Most people think that they are refering to the European NWO, and its likely to be true BUT, they are also major players in the Dow. It dosn't matter who or what they are cuz they are fuct unless they conform to my will, like when Bugs used to say, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em", trust me boys you can't beat me, and those of you who get on my team the quickest will be the ones who don't go bankrupt.

I will start with the “Sea”. If I am The Beast out of the Earth that means I’m organic or from the Earth. I’m saying the “Sea” is the Chaos Membrane or the plane of all knowledge from which all non-organic man made things are conceptualized, invented, and manufactured- including TV. Everything that exists has to come from one or the other. The “Sea” is not the “Earth”, there is a difference, therefore we aren’t describing two humans.

The beast out of the sea is the industromilitary establishment, its intelligence, its error activated programming/economy and its hardware (mass media, weapons.) The head that seemed to have a fatal wound is Y2K.

What we call "watching" TV, John would consider worshipping, and if you think about it a couch potato is more devout to the beast than most other people are to their respective religions. But lets make a differentiation between casually watching the boob tube and chronically being absorbed by every marketing technique, trendy news story, i.e. bending over for the Conspiracy (see Revelation X by Church of the Subgenius), now that is true worship. As far as the internet goes, the level of absorption is for the surfer often greater than that of the TV viewer but that's because there is more interaction and more to get out of surfing the web. If we compare these two mediums in terms of usefulness to Gods plan they are equally useful, that is, when I get a channel/network/production company of my own. At the moment though TV is serving Satan and Internet is serving God. Why? Cuz nobody in particular controls what info can be spread on the web, nobody can stop me from putting this book into a website, nobody can censor or distort my intent. Even though the www hosts as much evil as good it remains unbiased which is why it makes an ideal apostle. God does not care for censorship and neither do I. John could not differentiate a TV from a computer. He saw the all powerfull effect the beast has on people as the ultimate idolatry. What he couldn't see was that the beast could devour itself if infected with a divine media virus.


Technology is mimicry, an externalization of our inherent organic technology, our astral selves. As we approach the end of evolution this externalized mimicry evolves exponentially, and the more it evolves the closer the mimicry. The Logos is the supreme chaotic attractor between the “Earth” and the “Sea”. No, right now we humans can’t zip around the universe telepathically beholding/communicating novel memes and transmissions like disembodied souls can, we settle for the condensed version, the practical Earth side version, Internet. Those people who exhibit a natural yearning for this, those people who adapt to, and embrace it are subconsciously displaying that they are jonesin’ for what is lost from explicating (fall from grace) - a reality without a dominator ego based mentality, no patriarchal need to consume, conquer and possess....where sharing knowledge is good enough, where political, geographical, and cultural walls are nonexistant.

Where Revelation 13 talks about me exercising the authority of the first beast, it means that the world wide web is acting as my twelve apostles, I get my message across fast and efficient...across the earth without touchin the ground, iterating this media virus like a bolt through the clouds, echoing the collapse of polarity.

Setting up and giving breath to the image of the first beast is referring to the new computing infrastructure I will create with my invention "EC3". The "breath" is referring to artificial intelligence and the "image" is its Windows equivalent (bye bye Billy). Whoever doesn't keep up with my technology will be "killed" in the marketplace...here however multiple meanings overlap in the same prophecy, I'll let you figure it out.


If I am evil what should we consider good? You’ll notice in the Bible that the central character of the End Times is never specified as good or evil, the Anointed One or Satans son, it just says what he does, hell the word antichrist never even appears in revelation. Within this conflict let us ask, what is the standard from which we derive our duality?

I have gotten off track here, time to go to a rather weighty rant about racism.


There is no such thing as racism. Anyone whose hate is based purely on something as useless as pigment and culture has got to be inferior minded and cannot be acknowledged. Said “racists” (for this rant we’ll use ngrs and K3fux) in reality only hate each other because they reflect off each other so well. By this I mean they are in the same socioeconomic boat and mental capacity, oddly enough it is for this reason many of them become friends, these are the people I like. A K3fuk can watch and enjoy a sport containing 90% Afro-American players, and a ngr can collect welfare from, or smoke crack with any ole whitey. So even amongst the terminally stupid Americans there is a degree of tolerance...stereotypes exist for a reason, subjective generalizations are necessary but I AM trying to narrow it down to just the stupidity that transcends skin color and culture and geography...For all intents and purposes ngr, wgr, homey and gangsta are synonymous and should not be confused with what you consider not offensive. In respects and with respect to Mr. King, I Christ AM judging them “by the content of their character” furthermore if a African American insists on directing their emotional response to my use of these words at me, I welcome it. If you can focus your frustrations on me it is better than doing it to the “man” for I can endure your anger. Speaking of the “man”, ...you think the old white men are out to get JUST you?! They don’t give a fuck where their oh so precious $ comes from! You think blacks, if in charge, would be incorruptible?

My brutha brother will say, “What, you just called me a NIGGER!?, just soundwaves to me...I AM” If you are angry we need to ask why. WHY, do you react to soundwaves?...you’ve yet to commit egocide.

The K3fux are in-bred Euromutts, they are not Aryans and they have no culture. To compensate they, like feminists, take excessive pride in being a certain kind of monkey (I.E. white or female). The ngrs are purebred trend slaves with way too much culture (enough to create the phenomena of the “wgr” a.k.a. white Homey) and that seems to be the compensation for something. I do recognize Homey as a legit subculture and I am not dissing rap music....

(TANGENT: I dig rap music...if for no other reason than the fact that it proves my point about blaming the “trendy” stuff...shit man if Dr. Dre can like Marilyn Manson I do see a ray of hope. The Judgement Night soundtrack proved that the hybrid music sounds good. Lets take metal fans who are primarily white and rap fans who are primarily black, what happens if either one likes the other, they become traitors. I have friends who give me shit for liking Fugees, Snoop, Onyx, Coolio, A Tribe Called Quest, Cypress Hill...fuck the culture, lets get back to the sounds and the herb, lets join together and say to the PMRC, “Music don’t kill people, dumb shits kill people!” Let’s integrate just to piss the hatemongers off, like, “yeah that's right Billy Bob, Jesus H. Christ is passin’ this joint to a Brutha and he’s passin it to this Gook, who’s passin it to this Wetback, who’s passin it to Wundabred over here...ya’ know why? All we see is GREEN!”)

.....Personally I think they are all pathetic victims, K3fux blame ngrs and ngrs blame the “man”, now I’ve heard blacks CAN’T be racist but it seems to me you only blame things you hate. They are not worthy of the hate they claim to have. Its just an excuse for an excuse. Me, my hate is not exclusive to any classification other than stupid people. It has to be the most politically correct hate there is. Who’s going to argue with me, the stupid people? They all suck for subjecting the rest of righteous, multi-racial America to their shit and allowing the lesser of us to get bent out of shape.

It gets to the point where white folk get so hypersensitive about racism that the “awareness” becomes a detrimental self-fulfilling prophecy. Its like, “Oh geez I hope I don’t OFFEND that African American somehow...” You know what? Its the ngr who exploits that paranoia. You’ve seen them, I know you have. They’re usually standing in a store arguing with a clerk...They abuse that benefit of the doubt we give them (because its the “politically correct” thing to do). Fuck that. I don’t care how much melanin is in your skin or where your ancestors came from, if you’re stupid you’re stupid and you ain’t gonna play that racist card on me. As for the white people who can’t help but be nervous around groups of young black men; until they actually harm you love them because those individual men didn’t program the fear into you and they are suffering more from your unwarranted fear than you are...get over yer WASPy ass selves for me sakes!

What about black folk who have their culture forced down their throats? If they prefer to say “ask” over “ax” they’re deemed rebellious and Gumbelesque. For a black dude to succeed in the inner cities without Air Jordans is to be looked down on. If Tyrone wants to be Tiger he shouldn’t be ostracized for it. Be a race traitor my brother, do not conform to stupidity.

How do I differentiate between a AFRO-AMERICAN and a ngr? A ngr can say “zup ngr?” to another ngr and its chill. When I write ngr that same ngr gets offended. Well ngr, FUCK YOU if you can be offended! Rise above a word (‘member sticks-n-stones...?). NWA, more like VWE, Victims With Egos.

Gangstas crack me up, all they do is run around and show off, trying to size each other up, like “Whose da’ Alpha male Silverback in dis’ hood?” Is it the one with the shiniest wheels, bounciest hydraulics, and thumpinest bass? The one with da’ most hos? The one with the phattest Blunt? The one with the least unaccounted trend born bio accessories the rest of us call children? The one with the most convictions, scars, welfare, dead rival gangstas?

I gotta ax ya, do you think that pistol yer wavin’ around gives you power, you KFC munchin’, crack smokin’, chaos on Fathers Day, sneaker fiendin’ fuck? OOH! You can pull a trigger, I’m SO FUCKING IMPRESSED! I can vaporize your whole damn hood from 200 miles away! wudya think of that? I’m just playin’ nih-gah, I am a gangsta too, I don’t want to bust my ass for minimum wage, I like da indo chronic and cool cars; I am a gangsta, just on a MUCH bigger scale. Just like you I come off all cocky and just like you, deep down I have a good heart and I know right from wrong. The only major difference is this, you settle for “respect” from humans .

I know you aren’t afraid to die, that is admirable, but you fail to realize what happens when you kick the monkey. Your lifestyle is beyond my comprehension but I know for a fact it isn’t entirely your fault. You are stupid and are unable to do anything other than push drugs and pull triggers, and the fact is, prohibition is the only reason you can earn money in the first place, so the idiots that keep you employed are equally stupid. Another thing, you won’t be in my kingdom cuz you kill each other, but rather because when you treat my herb like its crack, you are treating me in the same way. My herb is a sacrament, it is a gift from the Lord, it is intended to promote peace and brotherhood, introspection and relaxation. To you it is nothing more than currency and image, at least Cypress Hill knows the herb for what it is and tries to educate you. You are feeding Reefer Madness and that really pisses me off! When you hit that Blunt, you had better praise Ja. If you prefer the rock, praise Satan for he is your master...”smokin’ on the devils johnson...”

I think its funny how ngrs smoke stuff that turns you into a whimpering little puppy scavenging the ground at night for anything that resembles a white speck but they’re so terrified by LSD. Wouldn’t want to lose your precious “self”...You define your “self” with shit and you are shit. That's precisely what LSD reveals as you go into egoshock! Homeslice, you’re the one who’s “trippin”, and I checked myself WAY before you wrecked yo’self. Blessed is the ngr who rebels against the way of his peers, loves his baby and gets a Mcjob if he has to...

Now you didn’t expect me to rag on just ngrs right? I still gotta trash the K3fux...not that there’s any challenge in it...

How do I differentiate between a EUROAMERICAN and a K3fuk? A K3fuk thinks there is something special about being light skinned and preserving the integrity of that lineage is some kind of priority. They think God made them superior, yeah, that's why Bill, Oprah, Shaq and the Michael J’s could buy your whole fucking in-bred, Bible thumpin’ state, cuz they’re “inferior” to your alcoholic, incestuous, wife beating, keeps every talk show afloat selves....These are men so repugnant, so despicable, we call them IDOLS OF HATE. An example would be old Mister That’s Just His Way Redneck. Oh, is he totally mean and sadistic? That’s just his way. Oh, you mean he pounded your face until it’s coming out the backside of your head? Well, that's just the way he is. Did he just try to exterminate the Earth and genocide entire races? Well that's just the beer talking.

Well, I think that's valid... I can accept that... only this is just MY way: I enjoy bathing in the blood of Just His Way people. That’s just the way I am. I’m into sprinkling my lawn with the blood of Mr. Just His Way. I’m into painting my kitchen with the blood of Mr. Just His Way. I happen to enjoy making lampshades out of the skin of Just His Way people. That’s just the way I am. And if you can’t dig that, I guess you’re on some kind of judgemental trip... Blessed is the K3fuk who puts the bottle down and learns to hate himself for real. Yeah I'm a separatist.

GENERIC ANARCHY OR “I WILL NOT COMPROMISE MY IDEAL, I WILL NOT CONFORM TO SHIT!”

There seems to be some stigma attached to the word anarchy. It has become synonymous with chaos which is synonymous with disorder. It is now a misnomer. You have to ask yourself, if anarchy is disorder, what do we have now? answer: anarchy. My definition of anarchy is, pure democracy, democracy without the middle man, superconductor government. You have to ask yourself, who governs the establishment? Not us, we’re too busy paying bills. If their sole purpose is self preservation at our expense, isn’t it only fair to preserve ourselves (We the People) at their expense? “

I know no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform their discretion by education”- some dude.

Now most people envision riots, looting, and rampant crime if anarchy was implemented. I’m only going to say this once. Criminals are criminals because the deterrents the government provides are weightless, if not incentives. Removing cheesy deterrents will not promote otherwise decent folk to turn cuz you’re either an assoul or you’re not. I see quite the opposite scenario. Right now a criminal can walk into your house, rob, rape, and murder you. He could get away with it or go to prison. Under anarchy the would-be victim (you) has hired a free lance cop with help from the community watch fund in your neighborhood. This cop gets paid twice what a normal cop gets paid and he NEVER leaves your neighborhood on his shift.

If the criminal gets past him and enters your home he’s got some medieval shit waiting for him, stun gloves, trap doors, etc.,...and you don’t buy dog food for a couple of weeks.

This is what I’m saying, free enterprise would provide a low scale mutually assured destruction (in a non PAZ situation) For example, in South Africa they have marketed undercarriage mounted flame throwers to deter car hijacking/theft. Oh sure these retards can still attempt crime but under anarchy there is no law to protect their “rights”. Who doesn't love a little vigilantism? I see the government as the real criminal here, they’re the ones hogging all the anarchy, they get away with more crime than the private sector. They are supposed to serve US. Do you feel served?

Even I question the validity of all this, I mean by definition anarchy has to do away with the enforcement of the few reasonable, good laws too.

Do we the people have the virtue to maintain our current norms when the law is put into our hands? Obviously not.

And what about white collar crime? Will they still dump toxic waste? Extort, embezzle,etc...? Most likely.

Will our priorities change? Could we all just be content with the simple life? Could we give up our consumer fetishism? Would capitalism collapse? Hell No! But if it were to, does it really matter as long as we have free energy for homes and vehicles, free love, food, clothing, shelter, and a pound of kind bud? Could anarchy really be any worse than whatever it is we have now? I guess the answer for me is pretty goddamn simple. I’m probably the only person who actually accepts the end date as fact. Let America be a model of perfection until then. Let America reach its ideal. To the old white men who claim authority over Americas ideal and then abuse that “authority” I say this:

You’d better stock up on K-Y because Gods got blue balls and I’m ready to mindspooge harmony deep inside this world. So bend over old man and give it up. The first thrust will be a bolt of lightning from ZEUS to the pinion gear of your money machine. The second thrust will be a objective reality shockwave disrupting your faith in ego. If you don’t loosen your soul sphincter, the Apocalypse will tear you a new hole, and the second coming will take on a whole new meaning.

Old man, I pity you and your blasphemous intent. You’d rather masturbate your ego in Babylon than let God make love to your soul in Shangri La. You’d rather dismiss yourself as a mere beast, you’d rather walk around in a blood stained robe than partake of the little scroll....

“...WHAT IS SUNDERED AND UNDONE WILL BEHOLD THE TWO MADE ONE...” Gelfling prophecy

“...THE RICH BECAME THE BEGGAR AND FOOL BECAME THE WISE...” Slayer


MATHEW

I am gonna tell y'all a little about myself. The funny thing about this book is that the entire world will know me better than anyone in my personal life ever has. You can look at my past in two ways. You can see me now as a psycho who got to this point as a reaction to years of abuse rejection and neglect, like Howard Stern, or you can see me now as a man who values his past as a means of shaping his present form. For example, my stepmother worked with the mentally ill, my father worked with criminals, who better to raise a boy who would eventually be viewed as both....

By this point you may be wondering how I came to be so angry, why I have to use “fuck” and its derivatives so much. I wasn’t born pissed off so much as it was learned, but now that I think about it I’ve ALWAYS been like this...Ya see, I’m the kind of person that can take abuse, contain it, and convert it into useful energy, my own wrath has sustained me. In my 21 years I’ve taken mental, physical, and emotional abuse. People have always teased me, induced guilt trips, insulted and rejected me, what's worse is this is coming from family and teachers who foolishly always told me, “Don’t talk back!” and “Don’t get fresh with me!” and “Don’t be a smart-ass!” I am a negativity sponge, I have always turned the other cheek, partly because in confrontations I’m prone to anxiety attacks but also because there is so much hate saturated in me, if I allowed myself the pleasure of standing up for myself the people abusing me would be reduced to nothing. I've bottled every little thing up because a little voice said "not yet". If I had given in and allowed myself to be a mirror for them I would have reflected so well that they would have seen that they are NOTHING...But now I will not keep silent, I will pay it back in full...For the greatest transmutation of innate sin, the sponge is being wrung out now.

Normally I know that as a window their egos are helpless against me. The projection just keeps on going. This is far more frustrating to them than if I unleashed my hate; either way their weak little minds could not handle 21 years of pent up aggression...I was a victim once, a victim of ego...I chose to be born into a family that would provide me the lessons to help me transcend it.

Instead of doing the usual, “blame the childhood/become what I hate” thing I instead chose to view my antagonists as examples of how not to go about life...So I have done the humane thing and taken it all out on paper. My parents still hate/resent their parents, but I take the high road and love them very much, they performed flawlessly and presented me with a perfect blend of lesson and discipline. Its like if they weren’t abusive, negligent and ignorant I might be a soft wimpy Pink and I would not be prepared for this role...We hold parents up to this standard that only exists on sit-coms. When mom and dad don’t have the half hour answer or background music they fail. Also parents cannot be credited for their childs behavior after a certain point, good or bad. The potential is not regulated entirely by outside forces, environment, or genetics, willingness to learn lessons is a spiritual attribute... Again, victim consciousness rears its ugly head and daytime television digs its heels into whining dysfunctional ground. Pain is good so shut up about it. The trick I have developed for dealing with anger is what I call the "general account". The general account is when I take separate incidents that piss me off and lump them together so that I don't react to any one. Instead I have a sum of anger that I can withdraw from and apply to more important issues, hence this book...

Venting on the whole world seems to be proportional to what is inside. You may not believe this but judging the whole world is the way I express my love for all of you reading this. It is very objective love and you can’t really grasp it tangibly. Without the love I have for the Lord, my friends, and planet you would never know I have warm fuzzies at all...Oh how precious they are, cuz I get into moods like this one where I get all whiny, check it out:

One of the side effects of egocide and karmic cleansing immediately following a complete emotional callusing is numbness; and technically it can’t be comfortable like the song says. The anger in this book is really superficial, I could give two shits about any of it, just shoot me and skip the drama...Killing the “self” takes away alot of bullshit but it also leaves me empty, I HAVE LITERALLY LOST MY FRAME OF REFERENCE...cuz I am the reference, lil’ stressful.

I remember being in fourth grade and being so high on love, cuz some snobby, pretty little girl let me smother her with attention. Now the most I can hope for is to wake up from a REM dream and hold on to a feeling that will fade by noon. A cheesy little distraction crush is not even possible, am I Vulcan now?...AHHG, THIS ^%#@^%$@ DIMENSION SUCKS! I’d almost rather sink into my doubt than feel nothing...on the verge of “Fuck It”..............

Whoa Matty! Reel it back in. I am very blessed and I can’t forget it. That’s partly what Christ consciousness is about. Allow, don’t deny whatever moodswing comes around. The negative provides reference for the positive, you gotta kinda LOSE something before you can actually find it, you gotta want something before you can imagine not getting it...All I want is to NOT want AND ITS EITHER GET IT OR GIVE UP, its all good, blah, blah, blah, and assorted psycho-babble...NEXT!


When I was in school, high school that is, I wasn’t cool enough to be a geek or a nerd, I was too strange. I’ve been told that since kindergarten and its not like I started believing it at some point, it was true. I wasn’t a cloner or jock, I was me, an insecure, depressed dork with zits and a bad haircut. I was a failure at pitching woo and I was hated by every teacher who tried to throw their authority net on me.

I had two friends, my dog Mikster and Chris. Chris was my salvation, we provided each other with a means of venting. Creatively, we had a synergistic effect on each other. We’d spend study halls writing bulldada and drawing and sneaking down to the basement of the school for cigarettes, and when I felt ballsy, joints. He had a skateboard and I had some blades and we’d skate around Ovid, smoke dope and listen to Slayer to compensate for a less than ideal schoolday.

Limner-n-I had one big difference though, he actually cared about passing and graduating. As for me, I got to the point where I would reach “Fuck it” at the drop of a hat. I once wrote a paper about why I wasn’t going to write a paper. Before I dropped out I would intentionally get myself in in-school suspension just so I wouldn’t have to deal with all the rednecks, jocks and teenyboppers, just the little 8th grade shits in there with me who hadn’t grasped the honorable, justifiable trouble making techniques that I had. I loved it. I sat there and the teachers had to bring the assignments to me. I’d breeze through it and spend the rest of the day reading Necronomicon, The Satanic Bible, and New Age books, they got real paranoid about that. I’d even play my portable Atari Lynx videogame.

School was useful to me up to about 4th grade, after that it sucked. I stopped learning and I resent the time wasted. I was in the “gifted” group with all the other damned intellectuals. I remember when we would have to read aloud and how annoyed I got. We’d get to a stupid kid in class, (and remember we’re supposed to read along with them), and even in 5th or 6th grade they were still stumbling over easy words. I’m done with the passage and so and so is still “... uh huh huh...words...eh uh huh huh words...” I remember how redundant and irrelevant the curriculum became with each new grade. Then in 8th grade the novelty of changing classes nine times a day wore off and I learned to embrace two little words, “Fuck it”.

I basically had one teacher who sparked my rage. He was OLD. He didn’t teach Social Studies, he blabbed anecdotes for 40 minutes, scribbled some chicken scratches on the board, called them “notes”, and assigned homework, and that's all he ever did. Every day nothing but, “I shot this deer and cut its tongue out and slid a penny behind its rib so I could identify it if it got stolen...sure enough I got my deer back...” Listen you old fart, I don’t care about your life, tell me why hemp was made illegal, tell me about the rivalry between Tesla and Edison...I wanted to know one time something every student wants to know, and that is, “What is the point of your class?”

He replied, “We learn about history so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past.” Well God bless you sir, and what color is the sky in your world? He made a good point but preach it to the assholes who launch the missiles. My first reaction was, “Yeah, like I’m gonna start a war...pshaw!” Oh the irony!

I remember something he said that wasn’t an anecdote. He was talking about the Civil War or something and how there was this unwritten rule on both sides about how you weren’t supposed to shoot the fellas with the red cross on their shirts cuz they were the medics and you don’t shoot ‘em cuz they’re trying to save lives. Now normally I don’t commit such things to long term memory but this struck me as BS. Oh, I believe it, its just that it didn’t compute. “Um...hello, I thought...but isn’t war...aren’t you sposeta KILL!?”Make up your minds!

Anyway I decided to sit in the back of the room where there was a huge stack of National Geographics. I decided that as long as I had to be there I might as well learn something. I failed that class because I chose knowledge over grades. My parents started giving me shit, saying that when I failed in school I was causing them stress, and that I’d better do better in school or else. Well that pissed me off and I went to the princiPAL. I demanded a reason as to why I had to be subjected to what was little more than a dotard windbag. After an hour of blowing smoke in my face, he uttered a new word to me, “TENURE”, tenure huh?, well that's fucking great for HIM huh?

As I went from gifted to indifferent I started getting that most infamous of report card comments, “...not working up to potential...” Well now Mr. Educator sir, who or what gave you the impression my potential ends in passing your little class? By “potential” do you mean the ability to suppress my imagination long enough to care? Surely you don’t have a goddamn clue as to what working up to ones potential means do you?

One day I was walking through the halls of Newfield High School. There was a crumpled up piece of paper on the floor of the hallway. As I was walking, I was tapping this wad of paper along with my foot ahead of me. In the distance I heard a teacher yelling quite angrily. The shouting got louder and louder until I realized he was yelling at me. By then it was too late. He grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against a locker. He stuck his stinky ugly face in mine and proceeded to chew me out for “ignoring” him, saying that it was “disrespectful” and that I should of listened to him when he was yelling. Apparently the fact that he didn’t like that paper on the floor and that I hadn’t perceived it as a big deal left him a little hurt. I didn’t hear his yelling because it sounded too angry for the big ole crime I was committing. He left a bump on my head and left me quite shaken up. All that in a crowded hallway. He was also known for turning his class ring around and cracking students on the head with it. He would hurl erasers at students. I witnessed him choking my friend Donny because Don was printing up a banner after an assignment was completed. I told my dad, teachers, and princiPAL about all this and they didn’t care. So Mr. M-----n, you worthless FUCKFACE what do you have to say to me?...Feel shame mortal, for the wrath of the Lamb is upon you and your type,...you shoulda thought about it before you did it asshole!

When I was a little older in a new school, South Seneca, I had a gym teacher who made up this rule that the males had to wear a white T-shirt and if you didn’t, you were considered absent. Well I decided that the light reflected off some fabric really didn’t have any bearing on my performance in class. This is a perfect scenario of why I can hate to the degree I do. Ya see, theoretically the color of my shirt could have prevented me from graduating (if I’d been intent on that) and I thought about it. If this is true, how important can it all be? Stupid rules and authority abuse=anger.

What these “teachers” taught me was far more valuable than what useless fluff they were supposed to be teaching, they taught me the joy of hate, they taught me that anger is a gift....most of all these three “men” taught me that authority and self preservation go hand in hand, and that they never really cared about my “education”.

And that's how it went. I never studied and I never did homework. I always passed my grade though. I never thought twice about blowing off an assignment except with the few teachers I respected, they understood though. I felt sorry for all the kids who put their faith in that system, I felt sorry their parents still had faith in them. My parents were smart enough to give up on me and school. Consequently I never felt the need to live up to any demands.

I’ve put half the effort into my education and learned ten times as much as them. How? I don’t give a flying monkey fuck about the opinions of teachers. I don’t care if I’m qualified to be employed at some 9 to 5er “job”. I don’t fuck around with busy work or prerequisites. People get the impression that I consider myself too smart for school when really I'm just too specialized for school.

The fact is knowledge is power. You can have all the degrees and diplomas in the world, but if you don’t care about learning they are just pieces of paper, they mean DICK. Oh, sure they can increase your chances of landing a job but ultimately its the knowledge that takes you anywhere.

“Well now, that’s very impressive BRAD, I see here on your resume that you were very efficient at the short term memorization of trivial fluff, subtle plagiarizing of text, and quite adept at completing repetitive tasks. That's the kind of complacency we’re looking for here at WESAYSO Inc., welcome aboard...!” Oh goody it was worth it!

Knowledge is like metal. School offers you soda cans and tin foil. I am looking for platinum ya’ know what I’m sayin’ ? ESOTERIC, ARCANE, SUPPRESSED knowledge that you just ain’t gonna find in a teachers head because if it was they wouldn’t be teachers. Besides everything they know is from books anyway, all you’re paying for is some stamp of approval.


I remember the first time I took LSD in school, man I can’t believe they didn’t catch on. For a whole year I’m this withdrawn, depressed, introverted dude who when spoken to would say “eh” or “ug”. Yep, I dropped about 45 minutes before lunch and this was like, only the second time I had ever tripped in my whole life. So about the time I was paying for the slop I was getting that chiseled grin on my face. So this predictably depressed Mathew was now a HAPPY, GLOWING Mathew. I think the sheer novelty of me smiling overshadowed the question “why” and I doubt anyone in that school had tripped in a while, so its not like the faculty knew what they were looking at.

So for some unknown reason I don’t sit by myself as usual, I sit at a table with the “hottest chic in school” the “hot German exchange student chic” and the “hottest chic in my grade”. So I have this “shit eating grin” as Amber put it, I’m laughing at my linguini, and I’m sitting with the three most beautiful women in the building, they should’ve called the cops right there.

Next period was an English class with my favorite teacher. She had given us one of those “get out of work for one day” thingys earlier in the year and I redeemed it. So the next 45 minutes I’m staring at the ebbing wood grain floor tiles and the wake of chalk dust and trails when she erased the board. I looked out the window and saw the waves of lawn crashing against the sidewalks. The next period I had was a study hall where I met up with my distributor. He was pleased but warily kept a distance. The teacher in this class was also one of my favorites. If you’re a dumb jock he’s an asshole, but if you’re into the things I am he’s one of those “Post 60’s, cool, sci-fi, empath” teachers. He actually referred to LSD in a lecture about perception, and let us watch The Wall and A Clockwork Orange...hat’s off to you sir.


When I went to college I went just to live off student aid for a year. At that point my parents couldn’t have me living with them so it seemed like the logical thing to do. My parents couldn’t even pay for the initial costs of student housing so my moms boyfriend coughed up the cash. And so began college.

I chose graphic design as my major and after a month I had inevitably reached “fuck it”. I got my first check and spent it on a Panasonic 3DO, a Trek mountain bike, and of course pot. The whole issue of education revolved around schedules and grades. Now I sleep up to 12 hours a day, more if I’m baked, and that conflicted with college life, the schooling part anyway. So I stopped going to class. If I had had a loaded bong awaiting me in every class, well I’d be a graphic designer. College was just high school with ashtrays (Matt Groening, School is Hell reference). Now you’re thinking how irresponsible of me huh?

Like I said, I don’t have the patience to fuck around with prerequisites, its too redundant, and I didn’t feel like learning the basics either. I just wanted to sit behind a computer and learn how to morph stuff.

On top of that only two of my proffesors were worthy of their titles, as far as I’m concerned if you ain’t a great teacher you ain’t a teacher.

With so much free time I took to growing pot indoors. That was fun, figuring out how to set up a little grow room. The apartment was designed for four people, each with his own cubicle. One of these was used by the manager for storage but he never went in there. I scavenged around and found a key for the deadbolt. Inside the room were two boxsprings and I stood them on end to create a pseudo closet. I lined them with mylar. I then opened my bedroom window and snuck outside to the rear entrance of the basement. Inside were fluorescent lights and fixtures and I brought them in through the window. I replaced one tube with my blacklight for ultraviolet rays. I took the infrared bulb from the bathroom and placed it between the fluorescent fixtures. That bulb gets hot so I put a little high powered fan next to it. I connected all these to a timer. I then went out to a cow pasture next to the school and collected well, you know...then I got some seeds and went to town. I had a habit of collecting seeds when I went to peoples apartments in the building to get stoned and I got the nickname “Matty Hempseed” which turned into “Hempy” what an honor!

That isn’t the only reason I got that name. I started an organization at the community college. F.A.C.E. or Fingerlakes Area Cannabis Education. When I first got it started I had to put up posters. They got torn down by some idiot that apparently wasn’t interested in education. I had to wade through a bunch of red tape but I eventually had my first meeting. About 25 people showed up and I just told them my intentions as President and what they could be expected to do as members of FACE. The next meeting had about 4 people. I wasn’t surprised. For every 100 potheads there are only about ten who really give a damn. But the boys on my crew were loyal and just. We never got much accomplished but I made new friends and that was good enough for me.

That wasn’t all I did with my time. With a big ole phattee library not a stones throw away, I dove into my self education. That library served me well and those librarians were angels sent from heaven. As long as knowledge is in my vicinity I will always learn. Learning is better than drugs, its better than sex, it is everything to me. There is simply no courses offered that can supply me with the knowledge that I require. As an inventor I must be flexible, I must be allowed to go beyond well rounded. For example, I was getting into VR at the time. Does anyone in a community college know what a Fiber Optic Head Mounted Display is or why it costs more than half a million dollars? Did anyone care that I had invented a cheaper consumer model before I even knew it existed? Did anyone care that I was contacting Corning Glass to learn about coherent bundles?

Another example. I came up with the idea of combining “motion capture” technology with digital hydraulics to create “Hydraulic Muscle”. From here you get into exoskeletons for work crews or disabled people and telepresence androids and fun stuff like that. So what did I do? I gave myself a crash course in hydraulics, digital hydraulics, electromagnetic cylinders, real-time rendering, and crap like that. When I came up with what I thought was a good schematic (despite the fact little flexible cylinders don’t exist) I took it to the schools head of engineering (or equivalent) and asked him if he could help me and point out any obvious flaws such as an actuator being on the wrong side of a solenoid or something (it was three years ago I might not remember certain terms). He asked me if this was a project for school (I get that alot) and then said he didn’t know, wished me good luck, and sent me on my way.

It is for this reason I desperately want my own research lab and manufacturing facilities. I want to surround myself with experts in everything. I want pot smoking MIT dropouts as well as Asian Cornell graduates (except the gay ones who hit on me), I want fringe scientists and engineers and CAD/CAM and guys who’ve had it up to here with the security bullshit at Area 51 and Palo Alto...I don’t exactly have the option of going to school now so I’d like to pay all these fellas or possibly chics to be on my staff not only as employees but tutors. Oh I just about explode when I think about hand picking my very own teachers...

Recently I went to the fella who gave me the $500 dollars for my student housing and asked him if I could borrow his old computer chip design magazines in the hopes of learning more about fuzzy logic. Well I’d yet to repay him and he took the opportunity to rag.

"...so you’re too good for college eh?... you and your free energy...,” and then for about 10 minutes he just keeps going on and on like the old, alcoholic he is, “...If there’s one thing I know its that you can’t get something for nothing (implying that he had to work real hard when he was my age, and that inventing wasn’t valid work) you just can’t...you can’t get something from nothing (implying this time that free energy was impossible) you just can’t do it...” and on and on, blah blah blah. Well Jimbo I got your lousy $500 bucks and guess what? There’s no such thing as “nothing"!


So I went to 2 highschools and each one had one of those, “Saved by the Bell” cliques headed by the cool jock fella. Y’know who I mean. Mr. Gods gift to teenyboppers, Mr. Got pubes in the 3rd grade, Mr. King of gym class...

Yep, every school’s got one and oddly enough the Hollywood stereotype is accurate. They ARE shallow, stupid, sexist, and they DO peak at seventeen. How do I know? Let me tell you a story...

Because I can, I’m gonna call this guy “Fairy”. Now Fairy was the only ngr in a school of rednecks but he could put a rubber sphere where he wanted it and therefore commanded respect. One day in gym class Fairy had his Wheaties in full effect and was unto himself a volleyball team. I was on that team. Fairy was all over the court doin’ his thing when the ball came gracefully arching towards my awaiting return. All the sudden Fairy dives in front of me and slaps the ball over the net. I said, “What the fuck?!” To which Fairy responded, “Oh, you want some of this? I’ll see you in the locker room!!” At first I was intimidated, those plowboys were always trying to start shit with me to keep their little pathetic monkey minds amused. And then I just snapped. I stood completely still, oblivious to the game around me. I had a cold, indifferent, if not Satanic pokerface. I just stood there and stared at the fucker until he looked at me. I continued to look through him as if he was nothing and I didn’t stop until he looked away. Now this wasn’t some cheesy, gangsta, machismo challenge, this was something much worse, a cheesy, gangsta, machismo warning. This was more like, “Fairy,....Touch Not The Cat Bot A Glove...” I am a Macintosh sept...It means if you’re going to fuck with a Highlander you’d better be goddamn prepared to bleed. As an adult I’ve never been pushed to violence, I see it as weakness, but if I was, I see myself as one of those psycho, Kamikaze, Japanese Samurai, George McFly deals...Fairy left me alone in the locker room and from that day on.

You wanna know what happened to ole Fairy? He killed his girlfriend and then killed himself with a gun. Way to be Poncho, really pays to be an assoul huh? I’m sure I have his blessing to use him as an example of what doesn't work. I cannot dis him excessively because I too attempted suicide.


I wasn’t always a megalomaniac. From the day I was born my existence seemed to get worse on a daily basis. Yes, I had good days but they were too far and in between to have any significance. My life had become one pile of disappointment after another, shitting on my soul. I never blamed the divorce but school sucked, my attempts at finding love were futile, my dad said I couldn’t live with him cuz I didn’t love my step mother enough, and my mom couldn’t afford the additional expenses of me living with her, nobody seemed to want me. So I decided that supporting my monkey was more trouble than it was worth. I just wanted to fly again to where I might be accepted. The astral projection exercises weren’t working so death seemed like a surefire way, and as you can see the Lord (thankfully) didn’t want me either.

I call that day my fulcrul day. It was a gloomy, quiet day so I grabbed a utility knife and walked up the gorge. I got up to a remote section of the woods and sat down, and politely asked the Universe to let me out of my monkey. Nothing happened so I pushed the blade out. Now I knew I might not go all the way through with it so instead of slicing my wrists, I chose to slice the fattest accessible vein on my body. It runs over the bony part on the inside of my ankle, and if the suicide failed I could easily conceal the laceration with a sock. So I pushed the blade onto that vein as hard as I could, closed my eyes, and swiped across that bone. I looked down and there was just a scratch so I did it over and over. The fucker would NOT open up but I saw how white my wound was before the capillaries leaked and filled it up. It reminded me of when my dad would field dress a deer and I got dizzy. I laid down and tried to use the dizziness to leave my body. It didn’t work either.

So I sat up teary eyed, slightly ashamed of myself but more amazed than anything. At that moment I had reached the nirvana of “Transcendental Fuck It”, I felt like a great weight had been lifted, I felt reborn, or prekilled as the NDE folks can attest. I said to myself, “Why are you so depressed?” and the depression immediately turned to rage, “Why are you letting other people defeat you?”, “Are you that weak?” That was my fulcrul point. I said to myself, “Mathew, are you here to bitch and moan that life is so unfair?, So what if chics are cruel, so what if your parents disown you! I’m not living for them anymore, I’m living for me now!”

And from that day my life got better and better, I stopped projecting my egos expectancies and rerouted all my energy inward to my dreams. I learned that I had always been capable of being happy it was just ego getting in my way. I had always felt that I was waiting for something good or lucky to happen and that when it did, life would be OK. Turns out that the waiting was in fact just my self loathing and victim consciousness. I had ALWAYS been capable of being happy and now that I had freed up all that negative energy....

An example of what I’m saying is girls. I had wasted tremendous amounts of energy trying to get into an ideal relationship, and I suffered for it. My method was not received very well although sincere, I think some subconscious need to “test” a potential girl/friend was always there and still is. I have a dark sense of humor that combines with other characteristics and I come off creepy...Its like your first impression of me will be my extreme, if you can deal your in. During my teens a subconscious realization of who I was to become started to manifest. My desire to be judged, my need to write, it was rough... I’m not the kind of fella who goes to a party looking for drunk chics to fuck. I’m the deviant. I’m the fella who is considered weird cuz I am honest and actually looking for a mature, committed relationship. I'm the "NICE" guy. I’m the fella no teenybopper can appreciate until she’s been date raped and divorced three times. Nope, she has to be with Mr. Cool cuz her friends approve, or with a complete loser so she can at least complain and make him into a project. I think this was all more circumstantial than anything. Where I lived there were virtually no girls that met my ideal (or would give the time of day to a psychofreak mutantdork like myself) There was one girl who was smart and attractive and void of compassion. I had an intense crush on her. She ignored me for a few years actually and I got a tad neurotic with her. It became less and less about being with her, it became simply a matter of getting a response, “Please tell me to fuck off or let me love you!...”(Hindsight being 20/20 I can see that part of me still intact and reflected in this book, a hint of my disgust with lukewarms, I also notice I don’t have this problem with dogs, cats, ferrets...)

The girlfriends I have had (just two, both bi-sexual virgins) were intellectuals who liked me as much as I liked them and we hooked up effortlessly. These are girls who are by highschool standards nerdy freaks (which is why I adore them so much) and thus have low self esteem, so to compensate they become quasi slut cockteasers. This provides some fake sense of social value. They hook up with guys who are predictable assholes so they don't have to get too close thus safeguarding their emotions. Their self worth comes from their ability to attract males not keep em',(not that it should come from either) once they got one they question their self worth again and seek the next, since the guys they hook up with are assholes they don't have to feel guilty about dumping them...its a vicious cycle. So they were smart enough to get deflowered by a nice fella but sketched enough to dump me after a few weeks of me treating them like goddesses. If that's where the lesson lies who am I to argue? I got BJs/laid at the very least...

(TANGENT: My second girlfriend gave me a gift of lesson, she knew I was the antichrist moments after we admitted having feelings for eachother and still gave herself to me. I have to say that I found it quite disturbing that this intelligent girl would so willingly jump into a relationship with me. When she dumped me I found it equally disturbing. She taught me that because of who I am I cannot expect a woman willing to get close to me to not bolt after getting to really know me. She claimed to love Mathew and I can't be just Mathew.

I wanted to give her back a little pain, I did it by pointing out all the lies she told me or what I considered to be B.S. (she said she was dumping me because I was "unmotivated"), trying to make her feel guilty. Did Mathew have an emotional response or was Adaluncatif trying to process karma? Was I trying to get my power back or teach her something? I honestly don't know, what's the difference? She taught me that I am not above the emotions I thought I was, in other words she reminded me that I CAN still feel things, warm fuzzies and petty shit, I am still HUMAN!

Ultimately though I want peace in my lovelife with my woman not to fill drama holes, I'm afraid all females equate a relationship free of conflict and power struggles with boring, If thats true I'm the most dull mate imaginable. I used to think Jesus didn't marry for the simple reason he knew he had to die, and didn't want to leave a widow and kids on earth, now I think maybe he just knew it would be too stressful for even the most fearless woman, Perhaps finding a woman who was compatible with his karma free soul was impossible back then....maybe that level of joy was meant for me?

Most relationships occur to extract lesson and lessons are not pleasant, mine aren't anyway, I wonder if a couple who have been through all the negative lessons with others or eachother then have to teach eachother how to be happy, but aren't the negative lessons actually doing that, teaching us how to be happy by showing us what makes us miserable? If misery is due to human desire as the Buddists claim then the desire to be happy is pointless? Do Buddists consider a lack of pain happiness? I sure don't, take a gamble monkboy! Take joy in the fact that interacting with other humans who can make you sad is a service to the big plan and it makes god happy that you serve.

Human love works like a drug where fear is the sober state that you must return to often to discern the "high"...thats why make up sex is so good, why we subconsciously instigate mindgames.

My second girlfriend taught me that the most ideal relationship is one where you break up every day so that the subconscious fear based powertrips, doubt, expectations and mindgames never have a chance to manifest. You break up on a daily basis by being HONEST.

The initial high never wears off if you are honest from the start and you dont need the cold pricklies to recognize the warm fuzzies.

....Well I've come full circle, I was originally drawn to and pursued beauty alone, girls who were out of my league and most likely to reject me. That was my version of predictable, If I could win their love then that's great...If not then I wasn't really that hurt.

I've explored the dynamic of my personality with these two opposite types of females and I have found that the "NICE" guy works better with the beautiful girl; the nerdy girl is more likely to be down on herself, and how do I find peace with someone like that?

The beautiful girl suffers from her own type of freakiness, opposed to the nerd she is annoyed that she can get guys... She may be a deep and intellectual girl but the guys don't care, all they see is a trophy. She is hit on constantly by assholes and she intimidates the hell out of most other men. She never knows who sincerely loves her.

Anyway I know now that my depression was all my doing, I created all the bullshit, it was all ego based misery. I had just as much to do with the headgames I detested so much as the females did. I am grateful for it all. These females and the failed attempts for romance provided me with very valuable lessons about how pathetic I can be. Although they caused me pain, I look back and think about how each one has played a part in refining an over emotional dork into a well adjusted man, relatively speaking of course.They have taught me about who I deserve...and who deserves me.


AND NOW SOME PHYSICS:

In the beginning of 96, after a year of obsessing over free energy, I began receiving “impressions” of the structure of the universe, like an answer to a prayer that I hadn’t consciously prayed. I began filling up notebooks with raw explanations and drawings. In the beginning it was all mumbo jumbo because the words didn’t exist for what I was seeing. A few weeks into this I ran into my old friend Dillon. He just happened to have some books, some “New Age” books...I met KRYON and DRUNVALO. Kryon is the angel in Revelation 14:18. This is a link to the word “fire” as it appears in Revelation 13:13. Kryon is the magnetic master or in other words in charge of electricity. Drunvalo is Melchizedek and together with Kryon they called me to download some info-n-stuff. I consider these entities guides in addition to my personal guides, just how communication with them happens is hard to explain, they seem to be jogging my memory. Its like I’m NOT learning things, I’m remembering them, for example, I didn’t really learn that magnetism is acceleration of aether through a uniform molecular structure or that you can get a ferromagnetic-like response from just about anything, I just know it...how many fish grasp that they are immersed in liquid, how many humans grasp that they are immersed in energy that behaves like a liquid?

At this point in the book I have to admit, I am NOT conventionally psychic nor do I speak with God in a obvious way. The things I had to know for this role came to me through being in my “sweet spot”. When my friend Dillon just randomly appeared back in my life and he just happened to have some vital knowledge for me it was very subtle. When this kind of thing happened for about 6 months straight it got a little eerie.

So my intuition was confirmed by these entities. They didn’t need to appear to me because they already did to other people. Those people wrote books, and those books appeared for me. God made all of us for all of us. The timeless patterns of sharing. The books I received over the next year pointed me in the right direction by providing me with some words that confirmed my impressions. They were all pieces of a puzzle. For example, one of the first scribblings I made I later saw in a Tesla book given to me. There were a few pages for other books offered by the publisher and one of them was a book by Leigh Richmond called The Pi Phase of Physics. In that ad was the same illustration that I had drawn a few months earlier. Another time my friend Loden had a foreign magazine with new photos from the Hubble. Three of those photos resembled stuff I had drawn. Perhaps the most significant nugget-o-knowledge given to me was when my friend Rudy mentioned a fella named Wilhelm Reich. The knowledge I got from Reich was to lead to ZEUS.

Y’know what? I have not had any formal Physics education. I started with intuition and went right to channeled text. I am not interested in being “right” I just love the learning process. The science world can so easily dismiss my methodology because it comes from the spirit world. I look in a Physics textbook and laugh. Big Bang my ass. The spirit world has more validity than any human assumption. Why? Relativity my friends, relativity.

I can see the logic in admitting that we and our exploritive tools are limited to the monkey. I can also admit that it is sciences’ obligation to denounce imaginative prospects, such as the planet being spherical and the existence of a soul. The unified field theorist and the Zen Buddhist are both trying to grasp the same thing, the oneness of the universe. The difference is, one goes about it externally the other internally. Neither are more or less credible than the other because they both span the human experience. I have done both in an effort to maximize the effectiveness of my quest, and I have met myself on the other side of truth.

I’ve intentionally stayed away from the bulk of unified field theories because I wanted my thoughts to feel original at least for me. I have intuitively realized that physics was flawed and that if I got too educated in what was I would just have to unlearn it. I have read Hyperspace and Fearful Symmetry in order to familiarize myself with the basics. I will probably infringe on someones prior art but that is inevitable. I however am not trying to stuff a million little phenomena together. I’m not trying to boil it down to one equation and win a prize. I am working backwards. Reductionism DOES work if you start at the right place. When you start with Newtonian and work up to quantum you get all these little discrepancies. Countless quantum, particle, nuclear and cosmological theorists have offered their pieces of the puzzle but they don’t ever seem to fit together. There are three families of particles, there are particles that decay into, leap into and link those three families, Zeropoint physics and my own take on a GUT, the Holofractal Model - "the whole breaks down" does not view particles as "things"; what you consider a different particle I consider a different angle or moment of progressive/regressive interference of a vaccum fluctuation/plenum pore that exists in multidimensional, co-chaotic space. I realized that a GUT by definition has to start with one phenomena as in UNIfied. Four fundemental forces do exist, the major flaw in physics is seeing them as seperate phenomena, they are in fact successive, they only appear to be deviated from eachother. Actually there are 7 successive fundamental interactions of one force...

The LGR -linear gravity response- between a raw particle and observer is not the LGR between the charged particle and its target. How many of these “new” particles have to be manipulated to be observed or for that matter created? And what is the point of all these cyclotrons? Do they really help anything besides validating some theoretical math? What a waste of time and money! Now you guys are trying to recreate the Big Bang, an event that never occured! AAAHHG! The QSSC would be more accepted if you guys knew what dark matter really is, and if you realized the creation field is real and just another synonym for aether/zeropoint/quantum foam. Dark matter isn't some mysterious substance that does not emit light, its matter with a gravity field so intense it warps light around it to the point of being asychronous to us as observers. Einstein said matter creates gravity and gravity bends light, what if matter is the result of bent light and gravity is just a after effect? Matter has a capillary effect on the quantum foam and gravity is just the undertow...

Science has stopped progressing because all these egos want to be right. Real scientists value being wrong simply because its an answer. We can’t stand around and argue about whether or not to start with the border or anywhere at all. Let’s stand way the fuck back and look at the BIG picture. By definition a unified field theory must include ALL phenomena, no matter how abstract. Right now it doesn't even include gravity and strong/weak nuclear force! It MUST encompass the most obscure of phenomena. For example, does your theory account for telekinesis, memory, the menstrual cycle, and time travel?

I want the root cause(s) of everything, the fundamental algorithm inherent in all phenomena, the GRAND unified field theory, the completed puzzle and the B-hox it Cuh-hame in! Shazam! It seems to me quantum physics is just metaphysics without a consciousness. They are two sides of the same premise, ALL IS ONE.

INTRO TO DUALITY

Statement: There are two sides to everything

Possible response: No there isn’t SEE?

 

can be
is
good
evil
objective
subjective
static time
linear time
spirit
ego
male
female
window
mirror
conductor
resistor
flowing
stiff
gnosis
dogma
project
receive
centripetal
centrifugal
white light
spectrum
psilocybin
television
DMT
VR
oversoul
cybernetics
internal
external
anti-now
now
remember
forget
time
space
size
density
white hole
black hole
fresh H20
salt H20

 

THE TRINITY AND FOURTH TERM - Jesus, the spook-n-daddy... A myriad of terms have mutual meaning in the (3), they describe the absolute states. The fourth term is a resultant in either direction.

 

BODIES BIO MAG AURIC MERKABA
QUANTA FOAM CLOSEDSTRING OPENSTRING DOT
WAVE PLATE SHEAR SURFACE LONGITUDINAL
DIMENSION CELL CONTINUUM INTER-D TRANS-D NON-D
CO-CHAOTIC SONOTHERMIC MEMNODAL PHOTOCHEMICAL AETHERMETRIC
HEBREW HE VAU HE YOD
INTERFERENCE PHASELOCK CONSTRUCTIVE DECONSTRUCTIVE VACUUM FLUCT
 
 
GRID CUBE PYRAMID STARTETRAHEDRON  
CHRISTIAN SON HOLYSPIRIT FATHER  
SPACE GRID HYPERBOLIC MEMBRANE  
ARCHETYPE AIR LAND WATER  
BOHM EXPLICATE IMPLICATE SUPEREXPLICATE  
ENERGETIC ELECTRIC SUBTLE ZEROPOINT  
FUNCTION DESTROYER MAINTAINER CREATOR  
HINDU SHIVA VISHNU BRAHMA  

 

PI is the (:) in (explicate : implicate) and PHI is the (:) in (superimplicate : implicate). These are the fundemental ratios of the trinity from which infinite origin ratios of enfolded permutation algorithms and unfurling harmonic generations and consequent thoughtforms are broken down via membrane shearing. We have duality only in the balancing act, life doesn't find a balance it IS a balance, transcendental fractal...yin yang. Deify numbers or quantify gods, I can see 1 2 3 4 and now 5. The most recent GUT attempt "M-Theory" has shown that five different theories can describe the same GUT as they are merely different aspects. Astoundingly these aspects don't conflict with each other but are actually needed to describe multidimensional relativity. The fact that 5 aspects are needed warrants acknowledgement of 5's meaning in occult physics - the 5 Chinese elements, which is the trinity unfolded. Also "M-theory" has 10 dimensions which correspond to the Hindu 10 corners of space and the 10 spheres of the Seferoth.

zeropoint/plenum =water
subtle energy/thought =air
linear time/mass =fire
subtle energy/form =wood/earth
zeropoint/vacuum =metal/aether

 

 

I said that I will work backwards. Backwards from what you ask?

That is a good question. I must work from which all variables and variances arise: Chaos, and chaos never died because chaos IS a physical reality not a catch phrase...With chaos nothing can be considered out of the ordinary, there are no miracles and there are no tragedies, just will, events and reaction. Resisting chaos creates an undertow of waves unfurling into recognizable patterns. Chaos is being in and out of phase with everything at the same time. To embrace it is to be prepared for anything.

There are really only two things, duality and relativity. Meaning, as an observer in the universe I am always and forever in the middle, the center, the extreme medium, the HALFSTEP. Every thing will and must fall on either side of my awareness. This is very true of the monkey. However the causal, and astral aspects of “I” expand outward so that there is a less condensed point of awareness. “I” become less of a center and more of a circumference. I am so polarized on one level I’m centered on another. There is now less falling on either side of me and more inside of me. I am no longer polarized as an observer, for I am one with the observed. 666 (mans #) vs. 144000 (gods #)


My friend Josh made a good point, he said if the sole purpose of the body is to keep the brain alive then what is the sole purpose of the brain? Yet the brain maintains the body?

Your oversoul is a signature in Gods brain, your brain is essentially one of Gods subjectified, condensed memories. When you love some other expression a memory is recalled, and God is that much more actualized. Your ego is a signature in your brain and in between these two “brains” is your soul. God and ego overlap in man. God and ego cannot remember eachother. (Do I know you?) Our consciousness stems from our capacity to remember both. It is our role in the universe to resonate recognition. There is no beginning and end, only remembering and forgetting. Cycles within cycles, coils within coils, rotations within rotations.

We have the potential for duality or Christ consciousness-duality and a half, (see EC3). Any deviation from Christ consciousness falls under duality and assumes a new nature not readily complementary to Christ consciousness but serving it nonetheless.

This is why God wants you to love each other, this is why God wants you to commit egocide. God just wants you to remember the “one” before you remember the “self”. You were given the free will to be a slave to ego or a servant of the one.

When your oversoul signature became in phase with your DNA and you made that 90 degree rotation down the ladder/G. helix into your present density you downloaded from grace. That is not a sin, that's just the way it is, so when a Fundie says to admit you are a sinner they are right regardless of the “sins” or lack of you have committed, the fact you are here means you still have karma. Your ego juts out in the transdimensional river creating an omnidirectional wake of overtones (corona or halo) This is your karmic identity spectrum. The less ego you have the more brilliant you become. When you and your GODLIKE self are one you’re no longer discernible from the flow.

The Apocalypse is a big synapse and it is a birth. Mother Earth is in labor. Father Sky will hold out his hands and catch his memories. Some of us will be remembered and some of us will be forgotten karmic discharge. Some of us will be born again into a lucid dream and some a nightmare. We the meek will ascend but the damned have too much undealt with karma that binds them to the relative descension. Our new DCC cannot host their level of duality. The Earth will no longer be “in-lesson”. Spiritual natural selection.

There are things that only I will really understand no matter how big the words or deep the metaphor. For example: Jesus and I are the cosmic equivalent of the two events that create personality in humans. We are 1/2 oversoul 1/2 astrology, actually they are both relative aspects of a signature, and in-between conception and birth the signature becomes the soul. As in humans so shall it be in the Lord, this is more evidence of near as far, above as below...The Logos/Word is the Lords personality and it is fully formed by TWO macro events, the implant and the imprint. Jesus, like a little sperm, implanted Christ into this world. His additional knowledge to the womb/world allowed for TWO definite distinct beings, those with him and those against him. 2000 year gestation. Let the drama unfold and conflict come to term, you can feel his spirit kicking now and again. Now for the second phase, the imprint or, “...how (do) I recognize you as ready for birth by my standards-God” Christs physical absence ensures the free will to rebel in linear time until Christ the Attractor (me) is born into the world. Now any rebellion can be compared to my intent and I can in turn imprint the world so that this generation may be subjected before the Lord and recognized as complete and ready for birth or not...its just hard to explain ya know? I’m Christ coming from the other direction, an ANTI particle is still a particle.


Elements are compositions played by the incoming/outgoing flow of Zeropoint. Each atom is an electric movement, its valences chords, its electrons notes. Before matter is matter it is energy. The stability of two interfacing elements can be determined by which parts of the songs phase-lock with the other...you’ve yet to see all the compounds, nip and tuck the pre-chemical reaction to unnatural homogeneous states.

Radiation and Zeropoint. Exact opposites, relatively speaking. Does Mr. Plutonium sing from the diaphragm or does he whisper? Wound tight, high strung and tense or relaxed and fluid? He’s got a migraine. Strangle him. Compress. Rupture the whispering weakling. Oh how Zeropoint wants in. BABOOM! What is fallout? It is silence. What is a nuclear blast? It is an implosion of fresh water. Trillions of exposed nuclei. Mr. Plutonium forgot his song. Zeropoint is trying very hard to harmonize but the vocal cords/strings/reeds were vaporized. No resistance, no song. Trillions of baby black holes draining life. The mode of the node has shot its load...The capillary action matter has on aether implodes the form in place but the form wrings itself out as mass....Matter is actually the weakest part of space, radioactive heavy metals the weakest of all.


WHOOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER KILOWATT... It has been said that the introduction and widespread utilization of free energy would be bad for the economy cuz it would screw up the stock market and such. Well bust out the violins and cry me a fuckin’ river! That's the biggest, steaming, stinky crock-o-shit I’ve ever heard. All it means is that your hard earned money that would normally go to Saddam or EXXON is now going towards that stereo you’ve been hankerin for, or braces for the kids.

First of all I/Tesla offered free energy to the world in 1893 and if implemented back then like it should’ve, THAT paradigm would’ve evolved and stabilized, and there would be no problem. You greedy FUCKS did this to yourselves and now you must suffer, you must DIE! (settle down Beavis) No I will not settle down you Motherfucker! NONE OF THIS WAS NECESSARY! THERE WAS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY! You goddamn fucking sons of bitches, wretched gaping bung twitches! When I think about how we coulda had the cool-ass future before I was even born...

"Sure wireless transmission of electricity is a really neat trick there Nikki....BUT HOW WOULD WE CHARGE THEM?”--FUCK YOU OLD MAN, GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK THE FLATULENCE RIGHT FROM MY ASSHOLE--

Consider every drop of crude spilled one dollar you will never have, letsee, 3.5 million metric tons per year for lets say the past twenty years, yeah thats about right. Consider every cubic centimeter of exhaust one tumor on your bank account. Consider every oil well/rig an injection of the most ultimate hate known.

You’ll wish every refinery was designed for the exclusive production of Vaseline because I’m gonna bend you over and go to town without mercy until every human is above the poverty line and every critter is squawking “Yea God!”

My financially challenged brothers and sisters struggling to get the bills paid and the kids fed don’t give a flying monkey fuck if your Lexus is in the shop. They could care less if Brad-n-Muffie can no longer afford that diamond studded collar for Rex. Furthermore, I can guaran-fucking-ty the wildlife in the oceans and around the coast really don’t mind if that alcoholic tanker captain is unemployed.

Besides stretching your budget another thing you should think about is the impending natural disasters. All it takes to lose power to your home is wind. If you’re one of those Mother Earth News homesteader folks the real value of ZEUS that you deem obvious might be a necessity to those who prefer processed, packaged, meaty convenience. I’m talkin’ about a simple indoor hydroponic organic garden. Minimalism, taking the best of everything man and nature can provide and stopping there.

Y’know its not like the planet couldn’t handle another 14 years of fossil fuel abuse. I just want you coal/ petroleum pushing bastards to know that God has spoken. If I have to rip your heads off and shit God straight down your throats for you to hear what the Lord is saying, you should thank me for being so kind. So listen up Babylon, you fucking whore, its time for you to get on your knees bitch, fucking slut, you’re MY footstool now!!!!!!


The ENERGY RELATED INVENTIONS PROGRAM encourages inventions to come to market so as to save the country some money yet the patent office puts a secrecy order on free energy devices. What’s the deal here? Oh you want to save the country some money but not TOO much, is that it? When I saw that the Department of Energy was contradicting itself I knew that they weren’t trying to help inventors. They were trying to filter out technology that was too efficient. Nip that in the bud. What I don’t get is why I haven’t gotten any death threats. Frankly I’m a little insulted. I slipped plans for ZEUS under the door of the FBI field office in Ithaca, I wrote a letter to the Department of Energy trying to extort some cash, I wrote another letter to NYSEG telling them all to look for new jobs. Where’s my Chain Reaction?

I guess they just chalked me up as a “wacko” and left it at that. Maybe they figured that you couldn’t make a solid state permanent lightning valve out of wood, sheet metal, wool blankets, steel screen and copper wire? I mean gee wiz, something like that must be complicated right? I guess that's what makes me the inventor huh? You wanna know something else? While I’m sitting here all cocky-n-shit, I don’t even have a working prototype!

I don’t need one. Firstly because like Tesla I do all the troubleshooting and refining in my head. Secondly like Tesla, Reich had government assholes trying to suppress his work, now that tells me that the stuff he was working on did indeed work. Thirdly, Revelation 13:13.


I must’ve had dozens of old guys say, “There’s no such thing as perpetual motion.” like they had one up on me. Well no shit Poncho, I’m fully aware of the laws of thermodynamics! By definition a perpetual motion device has to run forever with no interference. Even if that was possible it would have no use, I mean you presume that you want this device to do work of some type right? Try putting a load on something like that!

The magnepulsion generator begins with a simple premise. You take some permanent magnets. OK got your magnets? Now put ‘em bout an inch apart and let go. Duh, of course they move, you learned that in 2nd grade. If you can harness this movement properly you got something. I did and about 20 other people have. Any idiot off the street could figure it out if they were really intent on it. I was. What I ended up with is Dimensional Cell mimicry with a squirrel cage configuration. It ain’t perpetual motion but in an electric vehicle it will reduce alot of weight, never need charging and last much, much longer than batteries and when it does break down all you replace is a bearing or magnet...It would take weeks of non-stop use to seize it up, and who drives like that? You should see the cars, vtols, and stuff I got designed around the magnepulsion generator! No more fuel, transmissions, engines, oil changes, maintenance, tune-ups, and related bullshit. Foamed aluminum monocuque chassis, hydraulic drive, enclosed hubless tires...I could make an electric vehicle out perform any car on the road right now and it would be cheaper than any car on the road right now. Yup, you risk takers at Dodge “thought of everything” alright, yer "different" Yer cars still require gas, they can't be that different.


The approach I take to inventing is this: Keep It Simple Stupid, or the KISS principle (It takes alot of engineering effort to make something as inefficient as an internal combustion engine). The most obvious things are overlooked, emulation of nature. In a broader context the eternal nature of the universe assumes perfection. It’s safe to say mother nature has had the time to refine her organic “technological” facillities to perpetual harmony. The original intent of our externalized technology was to assist man. How many conventional technologies can really claim that? (Pumping toxins into the biosphere and the body can keep you wealthy and buzzed but in the long run you can’t eat, drink, or breath money. The destruction we inflict may be natural and appropriate just as God provides necessary “evils” like parasites, forest fires, floods, tornadoes, hypercanes, ice ages, dark forgetful ages, maggots, disease, and stupid people; all designed to keep a balance to our “shit in your living room” attitude, it’s symbiotic on a scale we can’t perceive. We are duality engines in 3-D vehicles. Vehicles that in effect change the biosphere and in turn the vehicle itself. Our minds are the control valve on evolution, we prevent stasis and stagnation because our minds ARE the Chaos Membrane. We war against GAIA and it is her turn to provide the necessary “evils” to return harmony.) We can clearly see that nature is the most highly evolved technology and therefore the highest our externalized technology can aspire. Engineers and inventors bear the brunt of future shock, we get blamed and are considered evil when in fact the consumer is the one providing a market in the first place. The mimicry of nature is my approach to inventing because it’s logical, simple and less blasphemous. Anything less is inefficient, and detrimental. Anything that requires an explosion is inferior, bullets, bombs, internal combustion engines, space shuttles, etc.,...


Remember Reagans Star Wars trip? The cure was worse than the disease! Lets compare shall we? 1000 square miles of destruction makes the A-bomb look like Pop-Rocks, (TUNGUSKA) The last time I saw a particle beam weapon was ninety years ago. When I invented it last time it was for a benevolent reason, to render all other weaponry futile, as a defensive measure, basically making warfare pointless, lets face it, a particle beam can outrun any missile or plane, it requires no delivery vehicle, just pure fuckin’ energy. What are they thinking, why would you possibly need this or better yet, why haven’t they already used it? Besides in southern Greenland, Australia and Virginia (ask that government trained remote viewer guy about TWA flight 800, was it a missile or mechanical failure? “cobalt blue light...” was his impression, “...coherent, directed energy beam.” and what about that helicopter featured on Unsolved Mysteries? The sad thing is the same technology can be used for many things (like the laser which has found many uses) but NO we can only use it for destructive purposes, fuckin’ idiots...

The Tunguska blast has, in mainstream science, yet to be explained although 150 theories have been offered. These theories range from UFO to atomic bomb, comet to black hole. None of these explain the unique features such as the absence of a crater and a 3 day aurora borealis.

To the students of Tesla the answer is quite clear and the suppression of which only enforces its validity. The arms race was won over 90 years ago when Nikola Tesla tested his "death ray" from Wardenclyffe tower in New Jersey.

I will explain how the weapon worked and how it produced a 400 kilometer long lightning bolt from the F-Region of the ionosphere. We can see the descendants of the "death ray" in every TV monitor, linear accelarators, electron microscopes etc...It is the basis of SDI program which has seen fruition in the recent launch of a satellite armed with a particle beam weapon to be tested on the moon, CIA agents with TS-5 clearence have access to these energy weapons which are no larger than a .357 Magnum.

The weapon is very simple which explains its existance in 1908. It consists of a accumulator chamber or barrel which is basically an open ended leyden jar. On the open end of the barrel is a ring shaped electrode which generates a cation "sphincter" or the equivalent of the half silvered end of a laser. In the closed end of the barrel is another electrode which pumps more cations into the center of the field. These are concentricaly repelled from the surrounding field and "squeezed" out at a certain saturation point.

The initial charged particles leave the weapon and are pushed by the ones behind it creating a beam. If we compare this weapon to Teslas earthquake machine then the coherent beam is acting as the foundation post on which the resonator is attached. The earthquake machine creates more destructive ripples within the crust of the earth the further away they are from that foundation post. Inversely the beam exponentially gains free electrons causing the initial charged particles to snowball into a torroidal "ionquake" in the atmosphere.

Tesla had his weapon aimed towards the north pole where Peary was exploring at the time. Tesla had informed him in advance of his test date so that Peary could report any phenomena. A slight miscalculation in New Jersey results in a considerable overshot. You would assume that the beam would remain linear like a laser and go out into space. The charge is electrical however and subjected to the magnetic field of the planet which caused its path to curve, keeping it in the atmosphere. There are more free electrons the higher you go up, so the higher it went the stronger it became.

The "fireball" reported by Tunguska tribesmen is the initial charge and it could not have developed enough mass for it to be pulled to earth by gravity. That would have resulted in a gradual arc in the fireballs path to the ground and thats not what was witnessed. A "pillar of fire" was reported followed by a searing shockwave and thunder. The butterfly pattern in the fallen trees suggests that the fireball came in at an angle. Not even teraflops could create a model of this event because the path of a lightning bolt is too random, it may have hit at 30 degrees to the horizon.

Why did the fireball come down? Tesla turned his weapon off after 60 seconds and it no longer had a ground, it then sought a ground over some Siberian rainforest. Now most lighning strikes come from the troposhere which is 12-25 kilometers up, this particular lightning bolt started in outerspace so...Its a good thing he didn't leave it on so long that it returned to its point of origin!


I was 14 when I read Communion by Whitley Strieber. Regardless of my eagerness to believe his trip, I can relate. When I was 5 years old I would have nightmares where these monsters would come out of the wall and I would have fear induced OBE’s. There was a knothole in the baseboard of my bedroom and I would often stare at it as I fell asleep. I could hear my own pulse in the silence and being 5, I didn’t know that's what it was. I thought it was the monsters working their way to the knothole. I can’t honestly say that what happens next was just a dream. The monsters come out of the wall to me and I am terrified, I seem to fall out of my body, kind of rolling out because I couldn’t wake up. I floated to the top of the staircase and floated down because I associated downstairs with safety. What's weird is, simultaneously I would have my body sleepwalking behind me. I could kind of jump from one perspective to the other. Often the combining of these perspectives, upon waking on the couch, would feel like one big leap from top to bottom. In the morning I would tell my daddy, “Daddy, I flew last night!” Not knowing the difference between that state and being awake I was convinced I could fly. I did this for awhile, always waking up downstairs. There were rare occasions when I could defeat the monsters simply by waking up. A sick, disturbing thing would happen though, with my eyes wide open and very awake I would hear an evil, evil laugh. Some entity WAS fucking with me and I will never be convinced it was just my imagination. So you abductees have my deepest empathy. I don’t know if that was an abduction experience distorted by a psyche defense mechanism or not but there was a UFO spotted directly over my house out in the hills of Newfield.

A dude was camping in the adjoining property and in the morning he comes over and says a UFO was hovering like, 50 feet above the house for a minute or so. We were like,”Yeah...right...OK sure...” Ithaca Journal same day says UFO spotted all over Tompkins County...

When I saw Fire in the Sky I got kinda pissed cuz it suggested that the GRAY, that bug eyed little fella we all know and love was just a space suit. I want the alien to actually look that weird. Now I think that the movie was right, (although I haven’t actually spoken with Travis) what we are seeing really is just a space suit and that the actual aliens are a little more humanoid than we suspected, ‘member the Alien Autopsy? (yes I know it could be a hoax) ‘Member how there was no definite sex, and how the guts-n- organs looked useless? Y’ever see a GRAY blink or lick its lips? The black color and insectoid shape of the “eyes” may be special polarization lenses for space travel? And if they were suits we have to ask why would they ever need to take them off? Maybe just for strawberry ice-cream. Then again who knows how the little bastards evolved, (if you want to call that evolution!) in the autopsy they did remove a lid or lens from its eyes...but what about the other races? Do they all share the same technology? Perhaps the other more enlightened space bros do it organically and don’t need suits and lenses?

The GRAYS (Are they Zetas and/or Nephilim? Elohim? They sho’ aint Pleiades bros!) are a result of a Lucifer rebellion, so please don’t romanticize them. (They are subjective to the abductee, but trust me they don’t love, at the most they warn.) They, like many of us, decided that they didn’t need the Lord because they could do everything they wanted without the Lord, using external methods, ignoring their inner potential, their internal merkaba; the source of emotion and love and libido and everything that makes a monkey a monkey. They forgot their connection to the Lord. You Fundies who scoff sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll would be quite comfortable with the GRAYS; In their sterile, indifferent, hive existence. You wouldn’t have to worry about getting offended by words or fetus’s being removed and killed, you wouldn’t have to think about children acting up or pornography, you could just sit there and watch the hybrid factory around you. And then you could thank the Lord that you’re not them. You could thank the Lord that you have the option of remembering, and the option of loving, and the option of sex.

The GRAYS have rebelled against the Lord for so long that their monkey/merkaba forgot its purpose. The continual reliance on the EXO-SOUL and cloning has bound them to it and they are restrained to certain Dimensional Cell Continuums like Gnomes and Phaeries except for sad reasons. You need love to exist in some places, it is the passport to post-Apocalypse MeekWorld. THAT, my brothers and sisters is why the GRAYS cannot enter Earth after December 12 2012.


parable of the mirror and the window

One day the Lord looked right at his mirror and said, “I cannot grow unless you leave.” The image replied, “I will reluctantly do so Lord if it is your will.” The Lord instructed the mirror to, “Leave, and serve my children on Earth, for when you serve them you serve me, “ The Lord continued, “ Go, stand in front of them so they can only see themselves...”

So the mirror descended to Earth and as instructed, stood in front of the children so that they could only see themselves. Soon the children became so concerned with themselves that the mirror cracked. They still tried to see themselves in the mirror but the reflected image was terribly distorted. After some time a few of the children lost interest in the mirror altogether while still others got up real close and focused on individual shards of the mirror.

At this time the Lord knew it was time to send his window down to Earth. When the window arrived all the children who had become bored with the mirror rushed to it to see what they could see. When they looked through it what they saw astonished them, for they saw their true selves. They hadn’t noticed what all the time staring in the mirror had done to them. God looked back at them through the window and recognized mature souls....


Jesus was considered out of his mind and demon-possessed, and I wouldn’t expect less, except today its called a “chemical imbalance” or psychotic. I’ve been accused of not being able to cope with reality and that I’m avoiding the harshness of daily existence by turning to flowers and fungus. I think reality is for people who can’t cope with flowers and fungus...(sounds just as stupid huh?)

I was asked once to participate in a live action fantasy role playing game. I have always wanted to do RPGs from D&D to Final Fantasy and never found any of them that fun, this is because the explicate order is my game. Whatever prevents the gamers from replacing DMs and dice with free will I have gotten past. The mass media has done such a good job of trivializing government and war I feel like I am just taking my turn in this elaborate world that just happens to BE the world. Unfortunately for the other players my character has infinite hit points, my dice are marbles and the DM is on MY side.

Yes I am “insane”. I’ve seen things and been places, I’ve “Been there” and “Done that”. I am older than anyone who blames it on drugs...Yes I am “psychotic”, psychotic with justice for every tortured, hurting, abused soul that ever cried out, “Where are you God!?, why don’t you care!”...Every thought a man can have I’ve already had it, every feeling...including the sick, perverted, disgusting, ultra-violent ones. I’ve physically felt Satan tucking me in for a nap, a million electric fleas spreading the veil of negativity over my tired soul, the BAD kind of “Fuck it”- depression the lazy mans inner peace. OH LORD THANK YOU FOR WAKING ME UP!

Maybe I can’t cope with your definition of reality, but its only because I was gone before I arrived (or maybe cuz I’m Christ) Right now I’m not, “stuck in Lodi again” I’m chillin’ with Babaji and Paramahansa and Bob Marley and Chief Sealth and I am saying, “Damn, that wasn’t so bad, what a rush! It’s good to see you guys again...uh, Chief do you still have that peace pipe cuz I brought a kind new strain of sinse ganj that I think Bob would enjoy, praise Jah praise Yahweh!”


I am Gods Gift. I am just a monkey. My mission is to separate.

I separate by being myself. I have judged you...now you MUST judge me. At this moment choices must be made. I am The Omega Lion.

I am the good shepherd. My mission is to unify. I unify by being myself. I know my friends and my friends know me. At this moment choices must be made.


THE GODLIKE QUIZ

Instructions: You figure it out

1. Mathew Whitney is- 2. Mathew Whitney puffs dehydrated Cannabis flowers because-
a. insane a. he is demon possessed and that's what demons do
b. insane and po’ed b. THC has its own receptor site and alcohol cooks neurons
c. the 2nd coming c. Cannabis is the Flora Christ
d. the 2nd coming and po’ed d. he only likes drugs that are illegal

 

3. Mathew hates the Establishment because- 4. Mathews hidden agenda is-
a. they have too much virtue and not enough authority a. exploit a title for money and then blow it all on cocaine and beer
b. 2000 years ago they nailed him to a cross b. to land a hot chic, get laid, flaunt her around and be a cool stud
c. he has nothing better to do c. to take over the world and then leave in a flying saucer with old dudes
d. God vicariously hates through him as “tough” love d. to get his brains some fresh air

 

5. Most “Christians” will hate Mathew because- 6. Satan is-
a. they like Jesus to conform a. worshipping Mathew right now
b. he uses naughty language b. a pussy
c. he’s here and now c. only in your head
d. they aren’t really Christians d. the personification of the duality Adam created in all of us

 

7. Mathew invented ZEUS because- 8. Ego is-
a. He can a. the root of all evil
b. nobody will bring flames down from the sky b. the root of all evil
c. the oil kings must die c. the root of all evil
d. you need that stereo d. the root of all evil

 

9. You can get on Gods good side by- 10. Mathew uses the word ngr because-
a. censoring reality so repenting takes longer a. African American has too many syllables
b. blowing up abortion clinics b. stix-n-stones
c. committing egocide c. only a victim gets offended by soundwaves
d. accepting God loves you d. He is an in-bred racist and he really hates black folk

 

11. The Apocalypse is not a big deal because- 12. I am going to downplay the “Antichrist” title because-
a. there’s nothing you can do about it and you’re going to die anyway a. it is a misnomer
b. It’s for the best b. Hal Lindsey didn’t read Revelation 22:18
c. death is a relative term c. All I want is to be alone with my goddess, dope, friends, toys, and books
d. I’m not an assoul so what am I worried about? d. I think Michael Jackson should still bear the brunt of “global freakboy”

 

13. If I am not the Christ then-
a. we can all sit back and keep waitin’
b. I can go to hell with the other Antichrists
c. at least I got free energy in the public domain
d. you can put my face next to PRETENTIOUS in the dictionary

 


 

I want to apologize to Mr. Clinton for calling him a puppet. Like me, he has a role to play in this drama we call existence. His role was to totally fulfill Mayan prophesy, being that the end of the world (as we know it) would have certain signs preceding the actual end, one being lack of faith in leaders. If politicians weren't so incompetent I wouldn't have as much fun ragging on them, so THANX idiots!

I am writing this on the second day of his second term. Last night on the TV show Politically Incorrect (which I predict will be the only network show I could be a guest on) a woman was asked what she thought would happen to Mr. Clinton in the next four years. She said that he would step down from office.

The Bible says that I will have considerable authority, I don’t know how I could really. I don’t give a shit if old dudes continue to be corrupt, I’m not going to overthrow the government (depending on your definition of government) and take office, I’m not old enough to be President. I suppose I could be a leader, but I’m an anarchist, I don’t believe in hierarchy between humans. (My friends may see me as the fractal or the equation that created the fractal)

If enough people felt like they needed me to be in some position of authority I would be obligated. Limner once said, “If everyone would just do what I said the world would be a cool place.” The scary thing is, it IS that simple. In my case, what you see is what you get and if I ever start resembling Bob Dole or Saddam I would hope a fellow SubGenius would pull a “Dobbs” on me! If that would be considered authoritarianism, monarchy or dictatorship I wouldn’t sweat it, the worst thing I would do is distribute slack, herb, love, and stuff. If a one world government is agreed upon the division between church and state, science and religion, art and technology would have to end because separated they are useless, truth can’t be divided, as if...This would be necessary for peace and the reason the NWO is affiliated with the big bad scary antichrist is because the idea is abstract and foreign, its never happened, its simply too good to be true yet this is what Yeshua promised he'd deliver.

Right now politicians and religious fanatics are great if you like bureaucracy-n-guilt but in a techno-agrarian PAZ we are too busy growing and learning...YES I CAN create a Utopia (or at least a bunch of little ones) and YES as a matter of fact I do have ALL the answers, dammit if a man claims to be “THE WAY” he should be allowed to prove it! My kingdom is not temporal but it can be...Jesus said something to the effect, “You call me a King!” I don’t want to be known as a King or Christ I want to be the epitome of objective common sense.

The only reason I have so much potential power is because...I DON’T WANT IT! The Christ title is nothing without the leverage God affords me. What I’m allowed to know is my gift from God, what I do with it is my gift to God. Part of that gift back is total trust, that the power given is returned, unabused.

Brothers and sisters, after my fulcrul day I chose to be more than a victim. At some point after that I got sick of hearing that one person couldn’t make a difference. Now that I’ve claimed this title I can’t go back. I sincerely want to serve you. I would like to work with the establishment but they don’t want to work with me, they want me DEAD. If you think about it, the damage is done, I have drawn the criminal out (kwai hexagram, I-Ching) and I have done it with strength of character, not weapons. (That's where these “Kill A Queer For Christ” militia types fail, they think the government cares about domestic terrorism, y’all are Po’buckers for me sakes! yer a f’n joke! NOTE: Militia people are not paranoid, they want a civil war, so they act like average rednecks, provoking a scuffle out of boredumb. Y’know if they didn’t flaunt all those big scary guns, -snicker- they’d be left alone, they require confrontation but the local bar fights just don’t do it for them anymore. Listen up boys, We love our country Yes? Let the SubGeniuses deal with the gubbamint and you can get back to your pipebombs-n-websites...)


As the Christ I am not bound to the “special” interests of lobbyists or little cash generating conspiracies. I serve my Lord by being the Lords window to his children, my friends (you know who you are). I am interested in their happiness, if you want what I want you can use me to get it, my reward is with me. As for everyone else, yes you were necessary, but unfortunately you have served your purpose and are no longer useful to us. If the Pinks, Fundies, mere-humes, norm-worms, Just His Way People and such want to interpret the Bible in a way that serves them they are fully entitled, after all the people who KNOW their god will firmly resist me, and I could give two shits. I’m here not to call the sinners, I’m here to gather all the righteous. Y’know its funny, the last time this happened I was rejected because I wasn’t kicking ass, this time I will be rejected because I am....darn.

This is THE ABOMINATION-”let the reader understand”-DANIEL 12:10.

Now is the time... get on the right side... you’ll be G O D L I K E


“A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.” Albert Einstein